Glastonbury preparations begin

The sun is shining today in W14, but don't let that fool you. With Glastonbury only 2 nights sleep away excitement is building in the office for the lucky few heading down. However, rain has been promised by the gods so preparations have been doubled to make sure feet and pants stay dry and faces remain smiling throughout. Craig 'experienced festivaler' Jones is heading down to Worthy Farm for his 413th Glastonbury and this year he has found what he personally describes as 'the ultimate festival weapon'. Testing was undertaken this morning to confirm this claim and we can now exclusively reveal that these simple pair of waterproof jeans will increase happiness levels in rain by 89%.

TEST 1: What would happen if someone pours a beer in your pocket?


TEST 2: What would happen when it really chucks it down? (Dave and Jono repolicate Glasto showers)


TEST 3: What would happen if it continues to rain all weekend? (Dave and Arj replicate the Saturday afternoon shower)


TEST 4: If you spill beer down yourself could you quickly collect it before it hits the ground?



So, in conclusion, if you see Craig at Glastonbury feel free to throw beer all over him. He won't mind at all.

Ow! My Bleedin' Knee

Sidney here, with more cycling related mishaps.
One of the problems of whizzing your way through the streets of London on a couple of bits of lightweight aluminum, is that when cars either don't bother to indicate in front of you, or just sort of STOP in front of you for no apparent reason, it's kinda difficult to STOP too, without falling off, especially if you're wearing stupid clip-in shoes.
And that's what happened to me.



So, Mr Blue Mini Driver who's a bit too friendly with the brake pedal and who thinks it's OK to suddenly STOP in the middle of the road without warning, and who thinks it's OK when a rather gangly bloke disappears from your rearview mirror with a 'Arrrgggghhh' and doesn't bother to STOP again to find out if he's alright, your card is well and truly marked.
May bad Karma really screw up your day.
And my knee, now a bit cleaner and a little less bloody, is really stinging and is now sticking to my jeans.
Nice.

Sorry David - Cameron Nearly Comes A Cropper

Now don't get all MI5 on us and start your waterboarding nonsense, but we have a little breach of security to admit to involving one shadow leader David Cameron.

There was planner Jono, firm of thigh and tight of buttock, grinding away through Hyde Park on his two wheeled steed.
Bobbing in and out of the more conservative (!) cyclists, desperate to get into KarmaKorner as quickly as possible (what with it being such a fab place to work and all), when he just about bolted headlong into some familiar looking geezer coming the other way.
The one and only housewives' favourite, Mr David blooming Cameron.
Mr C was heard to shout out in surprise, but we're delighted to say that this respectful civil servant wasn't potty mouthed, just a bit taken aback with a 'Whoa Whoa Whoa!'.
You read it here first if this becomes part of Conservative debating strategy in the next PM question time.
Also, Big Dave was on his lonesome, with no steroid-friendly security getting in the way, so top respect there.
Naughty Jono, having seen a few moody films of prison life in his time, pleaded 'Sorry David' as he sped past.
So we'd like to also offer a heartfelt apology to Mr C, who's clearly got enough on his plate and doesn't need some spikey haired Bournemouth boy giving him jip.
But if Denmark's third favourite UK agency is closed down in the next week or so, you all know why.

The Day The Mobile Died

Poor Tom.
Once the proud owner of a circa 1998 mobile phone.
It had seen him through thick and thin, creative drought and copy fertility.
Bringer of messages both happy and sad.
Texter of messages both blunt and cryptic.
Held together by sellotape and affection.
But now it's dead.
Gone.
Karked it.
Brown bread.
And in a fittingly formal ceremony, Tom read out an emotive eulogy to a gathered audience of people who really had nothing better to do that sunny afternoon.
And then, it was buried in our delightful garden, next to the remains of the chipmunk and Craig's treasure chest of mucky mags.
So, if you pop by and take some rays in our garden, be sure to pay your respects.
And give Tom a hug.
But don't expect a call from him anytime soon.

The Good Karma Life

Never slow to recognise the need to feed the hungry and the needy, we've got our green fingers out and started colonising space up on the roof to grow a few bits and bobs. Thanks to a few purchases from the local Homebase, and Barry from the local estate, we're planting all sorts of things up there. We're expecting a bumper harvest soon.



Here, showing off their green fingers are Debbie and Bonnie. I'm desperately trying to stop myself making a euphemistic error here, so I best sign off

Respect The Client

We don't often feature clients on our blog here at K'rama, but felt that our lastminute.com fella Rob deserved a special mention.



As you know we like our bikes here and heroes of the agency can often be found sweating their way around old London town.

Well Rob takes the biscuit as he cycles 17 miles to work, and 17 miles back again. 17 miles! That will like take you to another country and that.

Top respect Rob, but sort those pins out mate cos they look well rank

Gemma's X Factor

We have a right start in the making here going by the name of Gemma Knoxxy Knox and she's just about to go through the final stages of getting an audition on X Factor. Blow me!



To help Gemms on her way, your favourite industry vagabonds got together to audition her 4 fav songs to find the one killer tune.
In the presence of tight-pants Cowell, sexy Cheryl, wispy Louie and the plastic one, Gemms sang her heart out whilst everyone else drank wine and ate orange corn-based snacks.




We can't reveal the winning song - you'll have to got through the pain of tuning in to ITV for that - but suffice to say, it's going to be a cracking performance

Happy Ninth Birthday to Us

Blimey! Who'd have thought it? We've only gone and made it to 9. Gosh and crikey.



There's been weird goings-on all day, with congos, Hattie wearing french sticks as extra arms and Mike only being able to talk through a megaphone





Just think, 9 years ago today two blokes sat down at a kitchen table, came up with a silly name and started to do some good work.

9 years later here's a few of the high (and low) points:

- from 2 people to 57 people
- 5 office moves
- 2 partners, 1 partner, 2 partners, 3 partners, then 4 partners
- the creation of Kream, an independent TV production company
- a lot of ping pong played
- a lot of ping pong lost
- promoting what became the highest ever watched TV shows on History Channel, Comedy Central and the Sci-Fi Channel
- the most successful Nintendo UK advertising ever
- bird flu, swine flu and man flu all survived (so far)
- won the Naked football tournament
- frequent cross dressing
- losing our minds and our dignity in Berlin, Prague and the Tivola Hut
- making friends with Trinny and Susannah
- writing for BB2
- writing for David Cameron
- getting the Hoff's single to No.2 in the charts
- acquiring an agency mini convertable
- trashing an agency mini convertable
- getting a garden
- giving Craig a proper job
- bringing back sporting legends from the dead for Paddy Power
- finding a cure for bird flu with Pomegreat
- teaching Brits how to speak Amstel
- throwing parties that are still talked about years later
- keeping the Yorkshire Grey in business
- making Ben the industry's 3rd most beautiful person
- building a ping pong room in our basement
- letting a lot of people have a lot of sex with each other
- the partners never having any sex, either with each other or anyone else
- running about the crappist blog ever
- having a 'no wanker' hiring policy
- several births, a few marriages and no deaths that we're aware of
- more bikes per head than any other agency in the world other than a small agency in Argentina called 'El Biko'
- keeping Craig in a proper job
- being voted Sweden's second favourite agency (even though we're not in Sweden)
- making W14 sexy
- doing the world's first ever 3 channel hopping ad
- and just generally being about the nicest possible place you could ever want to work

And we hope to be here for a bit longer to add to this. Of course if anyone has any more high/lows to add please do

Clas Act

Yesterday some of the Clas Ohlson team attended the opening of their new store in the Arndale in Manchester. 

We were very excited to see Manchester plastered in Tom and Robin's wonderful advertisement hoardings.

We were delighted to hear the speeches from the Swedes - which were an object lesson in Karmarama type values - they really do good by their staff, hugging each member of the new store team and giving them all a little Swedish horse to welcome to the family. 

And most of all, we were gleeful to see a baying mob of new customers whipped up by Tom and Robin's good works, reportedly a much bigger crowd than Apple managed when they launched their new store previously.

But were unimpressed to see the Head of the Arndale Centre making off with one of the loss-leading offer items, having breakfasted with the nice people and drunk their coffee. Tut. 

When Dr Sketchy came to W14

We were very lucky to be able to host our very own Private Dr Sketchy session, catered by the marvellous Betty Blythe at 40 Vernon Street last week. (For those who are not yet acquainted with the Great Works of the Dr Sketchy crew, they run a life drawing evening class... with a difference. The difference being a selection of the finest Burlesque Perfomers in town, 

and the marvellous Dusty Limits hosting, compering, wisecracking, inspiring and, frankly, mocking our work. It's pretty unique, and ace fun). We were entertained by two great and very saucy personages in the form of Sarina and Spencer.

3 naughty performances, several bellinis, a programme of short poses,  a handful of Creative Mandates (draw him as a Bond Villain, draw her as a Skeleton etc) and many primitive illustrations of the male sexual parts later, we had a body of work ready for the Vision On Wall. If the Vision On wall was located in an adult bookshop, that is. 

Clare from Dr Sketchy, who also runs a fabulous store in Portobello Road, presided and provided prizes. David was very happy indeed with his tassles, I think. Alex and Nicola were charmed by Spencer's chainmail codpiece. Ben was just happy to be there.

Go Cootes Go!

It's marathon weekend and our very own Hiliary (Cootes) has been eating up the concrete of Richmond Park for the past few months in preparation for the big day. As a previous New Zealand Under 9's high hurdles champion expectations here at Karmarama are high and come Sunday we're all heading down to cheer our Kiwi on to the finish line. And to show our support and make sure she spots us at the 24 mile mark (which is highly unlikely!) the Lastminute.com team have decided to replicate her now famous look.

Gemma, Hils, Lisa, Jamie and Pete donning official Go Cootes Go! eyewear and supporters T-shirts.


...The reaction this morning on seeing the Go Cootes Go! campaign go live.


Good Luck Hils!! (We'll let you know how she gets on)

Karma Ping Pong site goes live

Rich with the historic story of the club, exclusive Karma Ping Pong merchandise and the once secretive contact details of club coach Shirwen. Media Guardian, The Beano and ETTA (English Table Tennis Association) have recognised www.karmapingpong.com as one of the most significant and ground breaking websites of the decade. See for your self here.

Kitchen surveillance (KCCTV)

Over the past few weeks our kitchen standards have dropped and for an agency that prides ourselves on our culinary prowess we are deeply ashamed. Certain measures have been put in place in the past to keep the sides clean and the fridge in tip top order however yesterday saw a completely new initiative upheld- KCCTV.


Here's Bobbie captured only minutes ago showing what you should do after you have used the sugar (put it back on the sugar shelf). If you capture any foul play on surveillance please report it to Liam and he will enforce that the culprit comes over to your house and cooks you dinner every night for the rest of your life.

Check it out here.

KFC Blowout - I'm Not Proud

There comes a time in every adlander's life when they are going out with mates for a big one. So, what does one line one's stomach with to try and ease the madness of the day after? Milk? Smoothies? Currant Buns? Polyfilla?

No. It's something called a 'Fully Loaded Box' from Hammersmith KFC.

It wasn't smart, it wasn't tasty and I'm not proud. In fact, I can only show you the debris.



Suffice to say I had a minging hangover the next day.

If you truly do hold the magic key to what to line your stomach with, please tell all. People are dying here.

Buongiorno! Italian Day

Last Wednesday, our head Boy, Liam, hosted the first Italian Day in our offices. 

You may not be aware of this anniversary, which is customarily celebrated in costume, over home made pizzas, to the music of Bon Jovi and Louis Prima,  culminating with a 5pm Karaoke. 

That's because Liam made it up. 

I'm not sure if the luncheon aspect of it will become an annual tradition, however. Thanks to a quite dodgy pizza oven, our creations took an entire afternoon to cook and in most cases tasted a bit like a rubbery mattress with TK on top. Many folks resorted to Dominos at 3pm, in spite of the scowls of poor Liam sweating over a lukewarm furnace for their dinner:

"Italian Chef: Cheaper than the Little Chef but still as disgusting" - Don Strattoni

But the dressing up was a fine effort and most enjoyable, especially for those who witnessed Calli and Angie hosting a presentation to our (slightly bemused) Clas Ohlson clients, or Nicola/ Ben off to the Ivy dressed as Donatella Versace and a Milanese Playboy respectively (sadly no pics were taken of Nicola...)

And what is a party without the Head Boy belting out Tom Jones classics at 5.30pm with a bottle of Peroni in hand? No kind of party at all... that's what. 

Being Really Nice to People: Now that's what we call Direct Mail

As if this morning weren't sunny enough for smiling faces, Nicola just received a package from a strange man that contained a ring featuring the names of all of her children.

Apparently this jewellery designer was perusing the A List, found the Karmarama name, and was about to make us a ring with our name in it, to showcase his wares, for potential gifts, but decided to use Gabi, Dani, Sam and Zac's names instead, wrought in silver and gold.

It fits perfectly, and Nicola is quite overwhelmed.

So, B2B DM companies, you may take your scattergun boxes of gimmickry, Mr Adrian Madden of Sanaer Jewellery Creations Ltd  has won our hearts. Talk about Karma!

How much fun can one boy have on his birthday?

This much.

The Fastest Growing Agency in the Known World!

Lovely Hattie just reminded us all today that we had our Christmas 07 party at a restaurant where we all sat at tables inside a shed. Seriously. We were, quite literallllllllly, a shed-sized agency.

Just as we're preparing for an all agency meeting Hattie has now been hit by the startling prospect of NOT BEING ABLE TO FIND A ROOM BIG ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US!

I'm not quite sure who sold their soul to who, but boy did it work. Hattie did a quick count up on the latest phone list showing that we now have 51 people! Bugger me sideways. Where did they all come from?

We'd like to take this moment to thank all those involved, especially Kate Winslett without whom none of this would have been possible.

A shed-sized agency? We believe we are now a community centre or maybe a church hall sized agency.



Nice work.

Great Breakfasts of The World No.1

As the first in an unlikely to be repeated series I'd like to introduce the Austria equivalent of the full English. As I was luxuriating in my Viennese hotel room awaiting the start of a top international meeting of top international people, room service arrived and with it this interesting little plate of oddness.

As you'll instantly see, a few of the time honoured rules of breakfasts have been breeched.

Firstly, there's veg on the side. And cold veg at that. As we all know the only permissible brekkie veg is tatties. And maybe tommies, but only if there are out of a tin and bear no resemblance to their origin.

Second, there's raw (I mean RAW!) cheese i there, and third, some ham stuff that really needs to see the inside of a frying pan.

But worst was to come: the egg cup had a hat on it.



Now call me old fashioned or stomp into my country of domicile and declare it your own, but are egg cups allowed to have a hat?

The whole thing had a charm all of its own and the egg and a not unpleasant rubbery texture that I enjoyed bouncing my spoon upon.



I consumed it with glee, washed my teeth, put my pants on and went to my meeting sated.

I hope my fellow Karma pals take up this fascinating journey into the global breakfast underground. But it's unlikely they will

Yeeha!! It's birthday season

Last week saw us celebrate a couple of Karma folk birthdays. Firstly, and most importantly (due to the special age) we celebrated Ben's on Tuesday with a bit of champagne. This was shortly followed by Tom's birthday bonanza on Friday with a bit of Carlsberg export and Diamond White!



With Tom's birthday rather luckily landing on a Friday mixed with the unusual choice of extraordinarily strong booze we headed to the ever dependable Yorkshire Grey to continue festivities. From there we staggered to The Social, and finally could be found holding each other up in the Spanish bar at the end of the night. There was the usual Dave speeches, generous presents, booze, cakes, candles, tears, laughter, petting-zoos*, bouncy castles* and the occasional tantrum**. But with hardly enough time to clean up the spilt jelly and ice cream off the carpet, patch up relationships and return left behind clothing we are doing it all again this Friday for the birthday of our very own digital guru Craig. This time it looks like we are heading to the no less dependable Bricklayers Arms...

* not really
** ask Craig