Loud mouthed, hard as nails bar staff?

It seems someone didn't enjoy their visit to the bond themed pub down the road. 'Slaggy' bar staff!? We're going in to find out more!

It's a lovely day in W14

Sometimes trekking out to W14 can feel a bit, well, wearisome, and being such a long way away from all our friends in adland can make us a bit cut off, to be honest. But today the sun is out, the suburban blossom is on the branch and all is well with the world. Feels so much nicer to be out of the inner-city blues that make us wanna holler, and out here in the sticks where the birds are on the wing:
Here are some snaps. Our house:

In the middle of our street

And our new trusty local (which couldn't be conceptually further away from the one Sid is on about, even if it is geographically right next door) is attracting a great crowd of locals to make friends with outside in the sunshine for a gentle evening pint. Who needs the Yorkshire Grey?

How Many Ad Folk Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?

I don't know and frankly it's a rather stupid question.
Now a far more interesting one is 'how many does it take to move a ping pong table?'.
We're going through a few changes and move arounds here at the West London Metropolitan Museum of Modern Advertising, and we've had a bit of fun relocating the sacred ping pong table from the upstairs to the downstairs.
Not a tough job you may think. And not the sort of thing to get into a tis about. But ask for a few burly blokes to lend a hand and the lads just have to get involved. But they can be a bit too enthusiastic, especially when the stairwell is the width of Paris Hilton on a fasting day.


Still, they huffed, puffed, grunted and generally made right tits of themselves.



And there, steering it all the way done is our IT genius and all-round good guy Dan looking somewhat terrified to be out in the real world for a change.


Dan, get right back up those stairs where you belong.

The Secret to Great Planning

Many people stop the hard-working planners of our splendid agency when they are mulling their way around W14 asking "This planning malarky - how do you do that then?'. Well, a bit like that masked magician fella off the telly who keeps revealing the magic circle's secrets, here's the skinny: it's all about the books baby. And to prove it, have a quick butcher's at a bit of our planning library I encountered just today.


Crammed full of the most insightful tomes on the ways of modern marketing, the most revealing book is 'The Good Pub Guide 2008'. In this radical, thrilling and ingenious book the authors draw cunning analogies between well know brands, consumer behaviours and emerging cultural trends and ... pubs. Yes, I know, quite brilliant. We've had your archetypes, your onions, your temples, now we've got your pubs!
Of course it could be that we've got a planner with a serious drink problem and they are having a right laugh at our expense, but I live in hope.

The Most Terrifying Pub in the Known World

We're a pretty beefy bunch at KarmaBrama. Not hard, not tough, not cocky. But beefy.
We can 'look after ourselves' if you know what I mean. And I reckon, in a straight out fist fight we could hold our own with some of the smaller regional offices of multinational pharmaceutical companies.
Possibly.
But that's besides the point. The point is this: there isn't that much that your beefy friends are scared of. But there is one place, one place that almost chills me to the bone to even think about let alone blog about, that is absolutely bleedin' terrifying.
It is, without any doubt in the world, the scariest pub ever.
Now we like a drink here and have been known to venture into some right dodgey boozers, get aquainted with the locals like and stand a few rounds. But this place? It's just so ... terrifying!. Absurdly, ironically and mindboglingly it's called 'The Live And Let Live' which is the very last thing on the clientele's humanitarian agenda.


Many people enter, but very few ever leave. We've watched from afar, but pooped our pants (the girls especially which is like way stinky) at the thought of going in.
We're considering, in the near future, doing a MacIntyre reports sort of thing where we strap a steady-cam to young Tobin to see what occurs, but for the moment we're keeping our distance.
If you know of a scarier pub, or indeed anyone who has ever drunk in the 'Live...' and 'lived' to tell the tale, please let us know.

3 days till the great kake off

Friday sees the great Karmaramamama kake off. Ideas and recipes are being kept firmly under wraps as the atmosphere builds around the office in anticipation. 2008 favorites include Fern, Dave and Craig all with formidable reputations in the kitchen. However, new comers will no doubt be looking to make their mark on the competition as well as the old-hand of Aaron looking to protect his Best Sandwich 2007 glory.

Stay tuned for more news...

New girls

Recently, we got two new girls here at Karmarama High: Nicola (left) and Ann (right).
Nicola's fairly important (she's our chairman) but Ann's the most important hiring of the year/ decade. She's our Operations Manager and is responsible for whipping us into shape, sorting out the building, looking after our 'front-of-house' and organising all the parties. And look - we haven't broken her yet!
Please don't pull their pigtails or steal their lunch money, they'll kick your ass.

Getting stuff done, well done.

Noise: The Return

You may recall, kind reader, way back when your favourite 'fastest growing agency in the top 50' was in their previous location that we had a little problem with NOISE! Builders builders everywhere, driving us to despair (they kinda rhymes don't it - you see, we're very, very creative here).

With our move out west to a road that genuinely resembles Coronation Street, but without the Rovers and that mad lad that wants to kill people, we settled in to a quieter way of life. A nice garden, nice neighbours, lovely and ... quiet.

But not for long as we have enlisted the help of a posse of builders to sort out a few drainage problems (long story, very dull). The awful truth is that not only is it bonkers noisey as they drill, grind and sump (technical term), but it's our fault! Our quiet little oasis of calm is now no longer calm. It's right bleedin' noisey!


We're sorry, very sorry to our neighbours and the gods of silence. Fern and Hattie are currently baking muffins to atone and hand out to the local folk. Please don't hurt us nice W14 people.

Another One Bites The Dust

We're a brave bunch here at Kristerama, but none more so that the intrepid cyclists who have to navigate the harsh streets of London to get to and from the Kube, our lovely new building way out west. So we support them with fresh fruit, sticky plasters and a loving hug.

But there are casualties I'm afraid, and Filthy Phil is the latest. Poor lad was cut up by some mad petrol-head as he was on his way to work. Phil, wearing the standard issue Karmarama Kamouflage of black top, black bottoms and free flowing locks, took a nasty tumble, did a spiral, landed on his head and took a right old hefty bang. Thankfully, years of drinking cheap Polish vodka has resulted in most of Phil's brain cells having already taken early retirement, so no serious damage there. Unfortunately his hand got pretty messed up and he's on operation number two as I write.


So, if you happen to be passing the Chelsea and Westminster and you see a moppy haired lad high on morphine but still trying to chat up the nurses, chances are it'll be our boy, so give him a quick kiss. Meantime, Dave is prowling the streets looking to rain down a bit of bad karma on a very rubbish London driver. Be warned.

Royal Ping-Pong

Last night saw the world's ping-pong stars descend upon The Royal Albert Hall for the Dunlop Masters 2008, and of course we went.

Highlights included the legend Jan-Ove Waldner struggle to carry a rather larger figure of himself around the table, the young Darius Knight overcome with nerves, "The Austrian Chopper" Chen Weixing putting up a good fight with an incredible defence and 'The Pocket Rocket" Kalinikos Kreanga from Greece overcoming everyone by unleashing his furious back-hand attack whenever possible.

But the star of the night (apart from a drunk, old bloke who was highly entertaining 4 rows from the front throughout) was bandanna donned, Jean Michel Saive who brought real showmanship to the event as well as fine 90's dress sense. Thank you Jean.

Karmarama go back to the races

After our win last week at the races resulting in a 'better than average lunch' we donned our flat caps and wellies once again and headed trackside with our tummies rumbling. The running was firm at Vaal and with only 7 horses in the 1.30pm we thought it looked a good race to wager our lunch money. Let's Rock and Roll an outsider at 5-1 had by far the best name and accordingly the fate of our lunch once again was handed to a horse.

After a slow start, Let's Rock and Roll finally picked up the pace and with a gutsy sprint through the last furlong grabbed an honorable second place. Not enough for myself and Craig to once again dine with Olympia royalty at The Cumberland instead Tesco awaited. The savvy Fern however collected a cool 60p profit from an each way bet and treated herself to some Peppermint Swirls- Yummy.

Made you look.

Sometimes a client doesn't just need a poster that makes you stop and look, they need a poster that makes you stop, look, double take, drop your DS and feel a bit queasy. Here is one of them kind of posters... its the latest underground campaign for the History Channel's 'Mummy Forensics' show.
That, my friends, is one of your genuine real-life mummified corpses. We call it 'The Screamer'.
Eek.
Send complaints to:
Madeyoulook@karmarama.com

Karmarama go to the races!

After negotiating that Craig’s beer stained birthday jumper will be ready for collection on Monday from the local dry cleaners. We found ourselves in the increasingly common dilemma of where we could get a good lunch for under a fiver. Looking for answers we found ourselves outside the local bookies and decided that we will put the fate of our lunch in the hands of the gambling gods.

With the going good in Vaal, (South Africa) we were drawn between two horses in the 1.27pm, an outsider Techno Raver at 16-1 and Naples, a local horse at 6-1. We decided we didn’t trust Techno Raver with our lunch money so we went with Naples.

And fuck me, she only went and won by 5 lengths. We cashed in our £30 and went straight to the pub for a celebratory anti-pasti.

Gambling Thursday is born!
(we will let you know what we eat next week)

Its a little bit Ping, it's a little bit pong.

We like to be friendly neighbours at Karmarama, and so when we moved in with Z Group (or Turbodial) and Blue Star we invited them over to a party of ping pong, pizza and beer so we could all get to know each other better.

Little did we know that they already had their own table, and were even better than us at it (admittedly that was a low bar to hurdle) however, when it came down to the nail biting final between Jamie from Turbodial and our own Superplanner, Jono, Karmarama prevailed and Mr Jono Holt was crowned King of 31 Vernon Street.

Hurrah!

Nice Wheels

Today we took delivery of our brand new agency motor. Our splendid clients DandeLyon who run SmartLPG, the company that converts cars to LPG, have given us a beautiful Mini soft top for the rest of the year. It's been LPG-ised so it's jolly good climate-wise and it looks simply drop dead gorgeous.
Modeling by the motor are Ben, the 3rd most handsome man in advertising, and lovely Lizzie, our current favourite client. We're looking at putting some Foxton-style graphics on it so you'll always know when your favourite agency-cum-estate agents are out and about. Give us a wave or a toot toot if you see us around.

The Fastest Growing Agency In The Known Universe - Almost

Well hello there. Now as you know, in the words of The Sugarhill Gang, we don't mean to brag, we don't mean to boast, but every now and then something occurs in this simply crazy world of advertising that we just have to SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!
So, here it is: your second favourite agency, after the child support agency of course, is, officially, the fastest god damned growing agency in the top 50 of all agencies in the good old UK.


I know. Bonkers isn't it. So I guess that means that we'll have to start acting all grown up, combing our hair regularly and making sure our fingernails are of a respectable length.
Please feel free to join us in a celebratory jar of cloudy Scrumpy Jack.

Karmarama: Officially An Agency (sort of)

After days, weeks, months and a couple of years of hard slog and diligently filling in our time sheets, report cards and turning up to work on time, the IPA has certified that your favourite web 5.0 agency is now officially...an agency and an incorporated practitioner in advertising. Now, although there are certain ones amongst us who will remain nameless (but they are tall and dashingly handsome) who think the whole 'pay us a lot of money so we can certify that what you do is official' is a right old piece of poop, it's important to others. So, I suppose, begrudgingly, it's something to be proud of (grumble grumble).

Karma-Kola

We got a brand new pressie last week from our friends at Coca Cola. A very nice fizzy pop dispenser machine thing.


It was all Phil's good work, employing a bit of tough negotiating and convincing their trade people that we've got the footfall of Terminal 4. So far I think it's sold 4 bottles, but there's plenty of time.
If you're in the area and a bit hot and sweaty, pop in for a drink. But you're paying mind

Hello Mr Handsome

You know Ben right? Funny looking little fella with red hair and a twinkle in his eye? Well who'd have thought it, but it turns out he's a bit of a dish. I know! What, I said WHAT is the world coming to?
So here's the evidence. Hot off the press, this week's Campaign serves up the goods on the best lookers in the industry, and there's Benjy at joint number 3.


Good work fella.
We've no idea who all the others are, apart from Helen Calcraft who's a right looker and can put me in her pocket and take me home anytime she fancies.
Congratulations Ben. Now - will you tell the wife?