This Just In From Arj: More Celeb Brushes With Death

Dwight Yorke beat me up at school because I did more keepy uppys with an empty coke can than he did!!

This Just In From Liam: More Celeb Brushes With Death

Gordon Burns (of the Krypton Factor) knocked me out of the way when I was on Work Experience at BBC Manchester – brushing me aside he boomed “Hello young man” as I flew into a heap on the floor.

Emily Blunt also pushed me over whilst ice-skating at Ally Pally.

Darren Days bodyguard also pushed me out of the way but that’s another story.

This Just In From Trisha: More Celeb Brushes With Death

Michael Grecco almost ran me over in his bright yellow sports car while in crouch end

This Just In From Jamie: More Celeb Brushes With Death

Gus from Eastenders tried to kill me 4 years ago

We were at a party in London and my mate pointed at him shouting 'there's that short bloke from Corrie'

He threw a glass at my head missing by inches

Celebratory Near Death Experience

This morning, Dave was overtaken by a bright pink mini on his bike.
The car was all over the road because the driver was on the phone.
At the bottom of Kensington Church street the driver got into the right hand lane to turn right.
The lights to turn left changed and she decided she wanted to turn left.
She tooted at Dave and accelerated almost into him, so Dave moved out of the way as she just swung into the left lane, hitting a lorry who took her wing mirror off, the outer casing of which hit Dave on the back.
He picked it up and handed it to her saying,
"Here you are Trinny".
The painfully thin and rather drink addled minor celebratory told Dave to F**K OFF, before screeching off to catch the lorry that smashed her.

Anyone else had a near death experience with someone famous?

Still Life No.1 - The Winner

Creative whiz kids Simon & Steve pulled out all the stops on this one. A beautiful piece of thinking and execution. Click on it to enlarge and enjoy in its full. Letter by letter it shows and tells exactly what that Karma difference is. A stunning, stunning piece of work and very worthy winner

Objective: Define the Karmarama spirit, the magic, the difference
Entry: Simon & Steve
Concept: Karma A-Z
Number: 1st place

Still Life No.2

Objective: Define the Karmarama spirit, the magic, the difference
Entry: Fernly
Concept: Collaboration proper
Number: 2nd place

Still Life No.3

Objective: Define the Karmarama spirit, the magic, the difference
Entry: Wylie
Concept: It's what we do
Number: 3rd place

Still Life No.4

Objective: Define the Karmarama spirit, the magic, the difference
Entry: Craig
Concept: Our recruitment mantra
Number: 4th place

Still Life No.5

Objective: Define the Karmarama spirit, the magic, the difference
Entry: Jono
Concept: Our mantra
Number: 5th place

Still Life No.6

Objective: Define the Karmarama spirit, the magic, the difference
Entry: Big Mitch
Concept: Toilet trauma
Number: 5th place

Still Life No.7

Objective: Define the Karmarama spirit, the magic, the difference
Entry: Digi Andre
Concept: Flying high in the Karma sky
Number: 7th place

Still Life No.8

Objective: Define the Karmarama spirit, the magic, the difference
Entry: Knoxy
Concept: A moment in Karma time
Number: 8th place

Still Life No.9

Objective: Define the Karmarama spirit, the magic, the difference
Entry: Lipman
Concept: The Karmarama survival kit
Number: 9th place

Still Life No.10

Objective: Define the Karmarama spirit, the magic, the difference
Entry: Jim upstairs on the Mac
Concept: Best Mangal ll: The unofficial staff canteen
Number: 10th place

Coming Soon - Life At Karmarama

People often say to us "what, I mean WHAT, is it like to work at KrispyKremarama?".
Well, it's sort of indescribable really. Mainly because none of us are particularly good at English.
So, a competition has been created to find the defining image of life at Karma Towers.
The competition closes today, results will be on our ski trip and all the entries will be posted up here. So if you've ever pondered the above question, ponder no more, because you can look at some pretty pictures instead.

Making Sprouts Slightly Less Sprout Like

So we're making an ad with nice geezer and top celebrity chef Tony Tobin and several people troop off to his classy restaurant for a meeting and a good old cook up (just to make sure the fella is who is says he is and not some interloper).

But because sprout marathon eater Dave went along, old Tony had to hold off on the fillet of beef and all that fancy French stuff in order to cook up some sprouts in a fancy way so Dave could scoff down a few more. And the boy Tobin did good, the sprout dishes were delish and everyone, apart from the agency toilet cleaners, are happy bunnies.

Spread The Word: Sprout Aid Can Save The World

Don't know if you're aware but Big Dave our creative partner is munching his way through hundreds of sprouts this Chrimbo in the name of charidy. Go search for 'sproutaid' and keep up to date with Dave's antics and the rest of the Karma Kooks getting involved trying to make his life a little bit more bearable

Life @ lastminute.com

Our nice clients over at lastminute.com are looking for some talented people, hopefully helped by this behind the scenes glimpse at life within Karmarama and lastminute. Enjoy, and if you fancy a job in the fast and snowy lane, get in touch

fancy working with us at lastminute.com?

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AC Dave 9 - 0 Athletico Arjun

It was billed to be the closest game yet. It wasn't. After a good first half display which kept AC Dave's potent front line misfiring Arj's boys eventually ran out of legs. Here's a collection of the AC Dave strike force doing what is known in the industry as 'pulling the trigger'.

The Joy Of Third World Tailor Exploitation

Young Tom, on a recent non-combat tour of Vietnam with a brother and a pal, paid a visit to some tailors and, as a dare, designed each other suits that HAD to be worn on each flight they then took. Not only it this a cracking idea, it is a great example of capitalism and exploitation in perfect synchronicity. Nice work Tom

The Joy Of Neighbourhood Life

As you may well know, kind reader, your friendly and shiny ad agency that has suspicious links to Bananarama, exists in a world some way away from the trendy highlights of east-east, east-london or the glitz and glamour of Soho. For we have eschewed all that (man I love that word) and moved into our palatial pad out West London way. We live down a very nice terraced street but bizarrely in an mansion that resembles something Puff Daddy would build over Malibu way.

Anyways, being part of the community and all, it means that we get to participate in all the finer details, from the striking bin men to the trannies at no.1 to the rampaging fox to the nasty little tikes that keep nicking our bike parts.

To keep abreast of all of this, Liam our very own dangerman and office manager, attends the local Neighbourhood Watch meetings. And now we come to the point of this long blog ramble: you just have to, and I mean you just HAVE to read the minutes from the first two meetings as they are probably the funniest single thing that has been written in advertising since gawd knows when.

Read, enjoy and, if you fancy, come join in at the next one.

FIRST MEETING

All,

Thanks for your unfloundering support last night at the local residents meeting it was quite an experience. As you were all “busy”, I thought I’d bring you up to speed on what’s going on in W14.

War Crescent Club/The Fox

Having thwarted the original application for a lap-dancing licence the local Daily Mail brigade have beaten the club into submission and they have decided not to continue with their appeal. Instead the Crescent Club is applying for a 5am licence to become a nightclub – the lap dancing club would have closed at around 2am. They’re ready to fight again.

War on Local Undesirables

The group of people who live in the flats above the shops next to the Cumberland were accused of being unemployed.

War on Transvestite

One of these unemployed people is a transvestite who has a lot of coming and going from his/her flat/apartment. The Local Community Support Office who was present (who was amused all night at the fact that he was called Liam as well) was urged to launch an operation to find out what was going on. He didn’t look very happy.

War on DOGS

We talked about poo a lot. It’s been decided that dogs should not be allowed to poo – at all unless they have a doctors note. However, it’s not all dogs that are the problem just those belonging to undesirables (staffies and pitbulls) who use them as weapons! One of these undesirables was removed from the Cumberland on Tuesday night after his bitch started worrying a customer....it’s too obvious, I’m not doing the joke.

War on FOXES

No, not the strip club – the Basil Brush kind. A fox is attacking bins left out over night. Apparently he’s very tame – I almost pointed out that if he was tame he’d book a table at the local Thai and have a civilised meal, but I didn’t because I’m better than that. He stands in the middle of the road and watches cars – this does not mean he is tame, this means he is “special” if you know what I mean. Anyway, the decision was made that he needs to be put to death.

War on Crime

Liam (hahahahahaha he has the same name as me) delivered the news that this area is crime free – depsite catching people selling drugs on the corner of vernon street...oh and a man being assaulted, who was a drug dealer...oh and the transvestite working girl/boy...oh and the “special” car watching, rubbish thieving fox.

Death

I died three times in the meeting and each time I came around Councillor Greg Smith – responsible for law and order, street cleaning and being smug was still talking and talking and talking.

The next meeting is in September – see you there.

SECOND MEETING

All,

Thanks so much for joining me at the “Utopia” (yes Utopia) Residents Meeting last night. Oh now I remember, nobody did and I had to twitch the curtains all by myself.

So in order to keep you in the loop and touch all your bases, I have compiled a condensed version of the Utopian minutes.

The Crescent Bar (Fox Lap Dancing Club)

One word – victory. The local Daily Mail brigaded thwarted (their words) the application for The Fox pub to become a lap dancing venue and have now further thwarted (their words) an attempt to turn it into a 6am licensed nightclub. Not only that but the owners/staff and whatever customers they had have disappeared into thin air. Our local Police Sergeant was due to meet with said licensees this week but was not only greeted with a firmly shut venue but no answer to his phone calls. He was a little confused as when he’d been in there on Saturday night it was heaving (his words).

The Fox

He’s alive – he’s STILL alive – alive and well and living in Chiswick...though still venturing back to “Utopia” every night to ravage peoples refuse.

Bins

Oh my god, we spoke about this for over an hour!!! The resolution came from the man with the overly mobile hairpiece from the sheltered housing on Munden Street. If you pour bleach into you bin bags – foxes won’t want to eat it. No, but they will be impressed with that zesty lemon smell.

The Albion

Apparently in this venue there is live music – not only that but people go outside to smoke – whatever next? People drinking beer? The man with overly mobile hairpiece does not like this and wants it to stop. Supergran, 88 from Number 19 told him to stop exaggerating, it’s not like it’s every night! (her words)

Thames Water

They’ve been digging and digging and digging. One mild mannered woman asked if they’d found what they were looking for. Everybody laughed – except me because I was still there. The only other thing we got out of this discussion (which also lasted nearly an hour) was that this area was the most bombed during the war.

Marcus Garvey Park

It was decided that nobody knew who Marcus Garvey was and therefore the park should be renamed Avonmore Park and the Barons Court Library (not in Barons Court) should be renamed Marcus Garvey Library so that people could look up who he is. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcus_Garvey

Crime

Two people were arrested stealing a bike and as a result traffic crime has gone down. Utopia has received an award from the Mayor as it has the second lowest crime rate in London. Remind me to think about this when I get called into the office at 3am following a break in.

Beggars

There is a regular beggar with mental health problems who works Utopia. Apparently he can’t be arrested because he has mental health problems but he is very clever (their words!)

Crisps

As Supergran, 88 from No 19 was leaving she grabbed a handful of kettle chips and put them in her hand bag – I’ll be invoicing Utopia Residents Association for a pro-rata amount to cover the cost.

Next meeting is in March – see you there!

Knight signs for KPPC

In news that will shock the Table Tennis world, Britain's finest ping pong prospect Darius Knight has become an official member of the Karmarama Ping Pong Club (KPPC). Here he is with club coach 'Sherwinator' after signing the contract which will see him finish his career at one London's most exciting clubs.


If you haven't seen him play before check him below- he's le shit.

Wednesday Morning Football

Every other Wednesday at 8am AC Dave take on Athletico Arj to decide who can have the bragging rights for the second half of the week. With two games down it's honours even as after a 14-4 hammering the first week AC Dave restored some pride yesterday with a destructive 14-1 annihilation. The third game looks set to be a cracker- tickets go on sale Monday morning so don't miss out. Highlights below.

Inside My Belly: Number 4

Best Mangal II does a legendary kebab and has been instrumental in getting your happy agency kampers through some tough times and long wintery days.
But, when a full blow out is needed, a sit-in session is required.
'Specially when ever so slightly hung over.
This plate of deliciousness here is called disarmingly 'The Mixed Grill'.
It's actually the stealth bomber of middle eastern cuisine.
Looks innocent, leaves no trace. but you carry it with you for a very, very long time.
I'm not proud of what I've done, my small appendix is aggrieved, but the feast was much needed.

Blatant Financial Bribery

Meet Juli.
You don't mess with Juli.
People have tried in the past and then.. trust us, you don't want to know.
Juli's job is to keep us in line and make sure we get our expenses and timesheets in on time.
Following various threats of mental and bodily harm, Juli instead went for a charm offensive:
Do your timesheets and you get a pancake.
Amazingly, it worked, tummies got filled and timesheets are in order.
I reckon the Government could learn from this good karma approach to getting things done.

Ping Pong now an integral part to all Nintendo shoots!

Here's Rob our client from Nintendo and generous sponsor of the Karmarama ping pong team, enjoying the beautiful game on a shoot yesterday. This was shot at a swanky house in Wimbledon and unfortunately the swimming pool had been built a little too close to the ping pong table and on several occasions the ball ended up on the pool cover, but hey! can't have everything. From now on, Nintendo shoots involving Rob or Walter from Nintendo in Germany will have a table tennis table and balls as part of the rider.

New Planner Alert: Kat, President of Post Digital Propaganda

All hail Kat, who joined us this week.



Kat is a top drawer planner trained in the black arts of above the line, on line, around the line, tow the line planning.
As such she has been given the title of President of Post Digital Propaganda because we think it sounds kinda kool.
Little know facts about Kat include that she's allergic to the colour purple, she can drive cars with her eyes closed using only her teeth and spidey sense, her feet were once used as a stand in for Kate Moss's hands (they are THAT delicate), she can speak entirely in binary, and she can eat Krispy Kreames in one mouthful.
Welcome

Krispy Kreame Moving Day

We decided to shake things around a bit of PharmaRama today so we could mingle people up a bit, stir the pot, buzz the flies, all that sort of nonsense.
Because some people had got very attached to their places. lovely Ben went out and got us all some Krispy Kreame doughnuts to make us all feel better.





And a bit fatter.
Ben's nice.



Funny looking, but nice.

Sick Trainer Friday: The Return

Last time we did sick trainer Friday we won lastminute.com and President Obama got elected.
So we thought we'd do it all over again and see what happens.
So feast your eyes on what followers, and note how different people's interpretation of 'sick' varies rather wildly.
Special praise for Hux who always pushes the boat out when it comes to dressing up, Daniel who cycled in from Greenwich in his snowboard boots, Ben who actually went home to get his sickest trainers yet, and Arjun for his fat yellow tongues
Enjoy!